Kidney Stones. Kidney stones suck nowadays, so imagine how shitty they must’ve been way back when? If you had kidney stones in Medieval times, you would be strapped down with your legs held up to your neck by an assistant all while a doctor stuck his fingers into your rectum to try and ‘dig out the stones.’

The 4 Humours. Despite the name, this really wasn’t a very funny situation. Medieval physicians believed that in order to stay healthy, your 4 humours (blood, phlegm, choler, and melancholy needed to be balanced. The most popular way to do this was bloodletting, which was essentially cutting someone open and letting them bleed out as a ‘cure.’

To sleep or not to sleep. Modern anesthesia didn’t come around until 1846. So, during Medieval times, something called a Dwale Concoction (a mix of herbs and alcohol) was used. The only problem with this was that it was pretty strong, and with no way to accurately measure the stuff, the death rate was freakishly high.

Leprosy. Leprosy was, sadly, quite common throughout the Middle Ages. Because people didn’t know how to deal with the disease, victims were almost immediately shunned and treated like outcasts- a terrible way to go. The damage of the disease is even evident in the skeletons studied today.

Malaria. Unfortunately, Malaria is still a huge problem today in some parts of the world. At least we have a pretty good understanding of the illness, which can’t be said of those who lived between the late 5th to the late 15th century. Malaria was thought to be transmitted through ‘bad air’ and one common ‘fix’ for it was to drill a hole into the skull.

St. Anthony’s Fire. In 944 CE, a frightening illness known as “St. Anthony’s Fire” wiped out nearly 40,000 citizens of France. The illness was brought on by the ingestion of fungus-contaminated rye grain causing ergot poisoning. Sufferers dealt with gangrene, burning pains, sores, convulsions, and even hallucinations.

TB Tuberculosis was often called “the consumption,” and was known for causing victims to cough up blood. The supposed cure for this sickness was to be touched by a royal figure.

Pus! Physicians at the time understandably didn’t have all the answers. This was particularly true in instances that involved open wounds. They believed that pus was a good sign, and they would go out of their way to ensure that wounds ‘festered’ if they didn’t already have pus coming out of them.

Cataracts. The ‘cure’ for cataracts in medieval times was… terrifying, to say the least. A physician would have you hold still while he used a sharp instrument to detach your lense. YUP.

Ouch, my ass! A seventh-century Irish priest named St. Fiacre supposedly tried to heal his hemorrhoids by sitting on a large rock. However, that didn’t work, and for a little while after, this idea of having a searing hot iron placed in your rectum became a ‘known cure’ for hemorrhoids!